Post-Traumatic Stress breast cancer survivor

In my former life, before breast cancer,  I worked as a researcher for the military. Miliary missions have a debriefing. I think Cancer patients need a debriefing after their tramatic experience. Post traumatic stress disorder may be rearing it’s ugly head. Call up your shrink if any of the following sounds familiar… a paragraph from my journal.

{I know that it is more than a year ago when this whole ordeal started. I really was not ready to be reminded by having to have a check up. I’ve been feeling a bit uncertian.  Yes, yes, I keep checking my breasts.  But by know I am more than paranoid that the cancer has “migrated” to somewhere else in my system like organs or my bones, and that checking my breast is useless. Should I ask my Doc for x-rays head to toe for peace of mind?

I am bruising very easily. I remember my Grandfather who had a rare blood disorder was like that too after his blood infusions. I have been assured by the Doc that there are “no signs”of re-occurance– to some this means CURED!  I tell everyone I have a clean bill of health. Deep down is doubt. Every twing, every ache, every crack and cramp. It takes less than a nano-second to think my fatal disease is back. Sounds dramtic, but a harsh reality set in when you realized that all your days are numbered…} June 25th 2002

“We all have expiration dates, I just hope I’m not the same expiration date as milk”! cancer vixen